I have one week until I am no longer a student at Cardinal Gibbons High School, and three weeks until I graduate. 

For so long, I waited for this moment with anticipation. I counted down the days, positive that life after high school would be everything that I was imagining and more. I truly believed that by the end of my senior year, I would be focused on everything I was ready to move on from.

But now that it’s here, that’s not what I feel at all. Instead, I find myself thinking of all that I will miss and all that I’ve been given.

There is a particular kind of sadness that comes with graduating. Not because I am leaving a place, but because I’m leaving people who mean everything to me. I am deeply grateful to have people in my life worth missing and memories that fill me with both nostalgia and joy. When I look back, I realize that the uncomfortable moments are the ones that taught me the most, and that vulnerability is what opened the door for so much connection. 

As this chapter of my life closes, I don’t want to focus on what I’m excited to leave behind. I want to hold onto what I’m taking with me– the kindness I was shown, the growth I didn’t expect, and the love I felt from those around me.

I used to think that the most meaningful things in life had to be permanent. Now I know that the most special things only stay in your life for a season or two. I’ve loved, and I’ve lost, and that’s what makes my life so incredibly beautiful.

Next year, I will be attending the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, studying in a small, interdisciplinary program called PPLE College. I’ll be living in an apartment, riding a bike to class, and meeting people from all over the world.

I am so excited to be living a life that I have dreamed of for so long. And wherever I go, I’ll look back with love and gratitude for this chapter of my life, knowing it made me into the person I am today.